The Fifth Liners

Well this is just silly now. At first Tom Brady's suspension was funny, but now the situation is out of control. The New England Patriots, have produced their own report in response to the Wells Report. It can be found on the cleverly named wellscontextreport.com . The site includes the original report, the Patriots' reply and some stuff from a scientist.  The Pats' report contains some interesting stuff, as well as some utter nonsense. There might be some tremendously groundbreaking revelations too but I've not finished reading it yet because it's 20,000 words long.  Yeah, 20,000 words. To put that into context, JD Salinger's Catcher In The Rye has 83,000 words. The Patriots have written a quarter of a novel. Brady, the Patriots, the NFL, science... let it go, nobody will come out of this situation looking good. 

We're one game into week four of the NFL and so far only three teams have maintained perfect records. The Cincinnati Bengals are the only team from the AFC to have no losses to their name.  The Baltimore Ravens were the first to fall, followed by the Atlanta Falcons and most recently the Tennessee Titans . Andy Dalton is the only Quarterback in the league to have not been sacked this season, testament to the strength of the pocket. The defense is also playing its part. The Bengals have only allowed an average of 11 points per game. The best in the NFL.  So why should the Bengals deserve your support? The world loves an underdog. Cincinnati may be top the AFC now but they've never lifted won a Super Bowl, they've only made it to the final twice and there's still 13 games left to play.  Off the field the Bengals have also made the headlines for right reasons. Defensive tackle Devon Still was dropped from the squad at the start of the season, but the Bengals...

Kellen Moore's regular season statistics make short reading. He doesn't have any. Moore dominated in college, attending Boise State and narrowly missing out on the Heisman Trophy in 2010, but when it came to the 2012 NFL Draft, he wasn't selected. Moore's comparatively short stature and perceived lack of athleticism led to him being snubbed in the draft, however the Detroit Lions spotted potential and he was snapped up as a free agent shortly after. Moore was never going to take Matthew Stafford's spot as starting quarterback, but the team allowed him to to compete against Shaun Hill for the position of back-up. The 2012 preseason wasn't Moore's strongest, his weak completion rate, intercepted throws and sacks left him with a QB rating of just 62.7 compared to Hill's 87.1 and Stafford's 116.9. It was no surprise that he didn't take a single snap the 2012 regular season. The following season saw a much better preseason performance from Moo...

That's right, it's not a typo. Miami. Whether you're fighting Jonathan Martin's corner or you think Richie Incognito is a kind-but-misunderstood soul, we can all agree that this is turning into the story that won't go away. MMA champ Jon Jones (MMA is that thing that Kronwall does to opposition skaters) said in an interview that "I'd kill him" and "someone tweet him, let him know I'd smoke him" if the two were to (somehow) get into a fight. Incognito has become the face of not only evil in football, but also all sport. As a result of rookie hazing being not cool anymore, the NBA's Minnesota Timberwolves' Shabazz Muhammad no longer has to carry a Jonas Brothers bag.  All because of "that football thing". Incognito was suspended indefinitely for detrimental conduct, which can only last for four games unless league mandated. Incognito has now  filed a non-football injury grievance against the Miami Dolphins . The s...